SWG Tales

5.



Donkey Kong - Various

Donkey Kong was just one of those characters that grew on you over time. Sure in every game in which he was a playable character he was slow, dumb, and oafish, but who didn't love the strength of Mr. Kong? Besides, if you ever lost in a game like Smash Bros. or Mario Kart, you could chalk it up to having chosen Donkey Kong as your weapon of choice.

4.



James Bond - Goldeneye (N64)

This had to be one of the coolest games ever. I know my friends and I still occasionally hold little tournaments amongst ourselves with this gem. Not only did the story from the movie fit perfectly into the game, but they made James one badass character. I know there are plenty of characters to choose in multiplayer, but lets be honest: none of them are as cool as Bond.

3.



Leisure Suit Larry - Various (PC)

Sure, call me a sleazeball, but every guy here loved these games too. Leisure Suit Larry fell into my hands right about that wonderful age when girls are looked at as more than just being bad at dodgeball. Leisure Suit Larry got all the girls, and I mean ALL the girls. Sure he lead me into a false sense of how females work, but I tip my hat to the guy. Go get 'em Larry.

2.



Zangief - Street Fighter Series (SNES)

I always loved Zangief; ever since the first Street Fighter came out. While you and everyone else was off perfecting how to use Guile, Blanka, and those annoying and insanely popular Ken/Rye idiots, I was working on doing the difficult to pull off yet massively damaging moves of the Russian. I mean, this guy wrestled bears back in the mother land! They tried years later to make another cool big guy -- T Hawk (Tony anyone) -- but failed miserably in trying to duplicate Zangief's coolness. So go ahead, do your stupid uppercuts and sonicbooms, because once I get you in that spinning piledriver...YOU BELONG TO ME!

Ahem.

And my favorite video game character of all time...



Pacman - Pacman (Arcade)

Yep, I'm bringing it back to the old school here folks. I personally got the biggest rush out of the Pacman games. Nothing quite got my hands sweating like the feeling when Blinky and co. were changing back from chased, to chaser. Me and Pacman were the ultimate team in videogaming, and our dominance over the dots became an addiction in my earlier years. Sure they've tried to improve the original about a billion and a half times, but nothing captures the toe-twitching, brow sweating excitment I got from running from those ghosts.

Ok need to do another cause I forgot some of the better character out there.

5) Link (adult)-in the N64 games or the new one yet to be released

4) Solid Snake-Metal Gear Solid and MGS Snake Eatter

3) Alucard-Castilvania SoN

2) Master Chief-Halo

1) Sam Fisher-Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomarrow

Aren't we all forgetting the unsung videogame hero? I am referring to Gex, the Gecko from his original game on the 3D0. His smart ass attitude was hilarious back in the day.

as for the rest of em...

5. Pitfall Harry from the atari 2600 (jumping snakes and fire makes you a bad ass in my book)

4. Ol' Dirty bastard in the Wu Tang fighting game for the PSX (best line was when he ripped off his opponents arms and then called himself big baby jesus...no joke)

3. Commando from the NES game of the same name. He was too much of a hardass to jump, he used his wrist mounted grappling hook to move up and down.

2. Hobbes from Wing Commander 3 on the 3DO. The big cat like thing that betrays Mark Hammel (sp?) and kills his wing man...sorry luke. The force was NOT with "Vaquero".

1. And finally....The entire team from the country of Qatar in FIFA 95 (i think) for the sega genesis. By being the worst team in the game and allowing themselves to lose standard length soccer games by scores of 20 to nothing, they are my most favorite heroes...all of em.

Del'tar Chagas wrote:3. Commando from the NES game of the same name. He was too much of a hardass to jump, he used his wrist mounted grappling hook to move up and down.

Dude, if you're going to use this guy, at least get it right!

It's BIONIC Commando. He had a grappling hook because he was bionic. He didn't jump because his bionic hook weighed too much (or because there were only two buttons on the NES and one was already allocated to "shoot.")

This is pretty much in my top ten games of all time. I'm still waiting for "Super Bionic Commando." This was the one game that didn't get the nod for a sequel on the Super NES that should have.

Also, in more recent Fifas and Winning Elevens, you have to give mad props to Argentina, not only for being a bad-assed team to play as, but because their away jerseys look like Team Evil (at least I think that was their name) from Shaolin Soccer.

Del'tar Chagas wrote: 5. Pitfall Harry from the atari 2600 (jumping snakes and fire makes you a bad ass in my book)

YES YES YES!! DUDE!!! I was so thinking about that one a few hours after I posted my 5.

The screen with the 3 crocidiles was always so hard.

The best thing about Pitfall Harry was that when you went to swing on the vines, there was a grainy tarzan yell that could only be produced on the technological marvel that is the Atari 2600.

Del'tar Chagas wrote:The best thing about Pitfall Harry was that when you went to swing on the vines, there was a grainy tarzan yell that could only be produced on the technological marvel that is the Atari 2600.

I also give Pitfall Harry for having the voice of Bruce Campbell in Pitfall 3D. The game sucked the sweat off a dead pigs $#%s but Pitfall Harry is still credited with Campbell's voice and thats a plus in my book.

I almost forgot one of my most favorite video game heroes. Player 2 (the red one) from the smash hit Contra. He had flowing locks and red pants...plus he ruined a bunch of aliens' shit in his spare time. A real American bad ass.

Del'tar Chagas wrote:I almost forgot one of my most favorite video game heroes. Player 2 (the red one) from the smash hit Contra. He had flowing locks and red pants...plus he ruined a bunch of aliens' shit in his spare time. A real American bad ass.

He would of been an even bigger badass if his partner, Player 1 (the blue one) wasn't always stealing the good powerups and health. Player 2 could of saved the world in no time flat but nooooooooooo greedy ole Player 1 just had to have the scatter gun and be the hero.

I hate my brother....er... I mean Player 1.

Oh!!!.. How could I forget?

Thor
Thyra
Questor
Merlin


(memories of spending all day playing this with a group of friends, dropping in an endless amount of tokens before coming to a consensus that the game never really ends, or changes.)

Ekade wrote:Oh!!!.. How could I forget?

Thor
Thyra
Questor
Merlin


(memories of spending all day playing this with a group of friends, dropping in an endless amount of tokens before coming to a consensus that the game never really ends, or changes.)

Ekade shot the food. Damn you Ekade.

Seret Sajet wrote:

Ekade wrote:Oh!!!.. How could I forget?

Thor
Thyra
Questor
Merlin


(memories of spending all day playing this with a group of friends, dropping in an endless amount of tokens before coming to a consensus that the game never really ends, or changes.)

Ekade shot the food. Damn you Ekade.

Dammit Seret.. don't push me me into the Death.

Dwilah wrote:

Seret Sajet wrote:

MrDooo wrote:

Just because I wouldn't put on the hawtpants...

/raises hand
Hellllooooooo? Mr. Anti-Hawtpants over here and I made the list.

Its because her uncle choked to death on the bones of your second cousin. Tough break.

THE GREEN ONES MAKE ME HORNY. M&Ms, of course. And Dooo....I still love you.

Also on the list is Dooo, Snewpy, Bilko, Keer, E-bo, Ringo, anybody else who might get offended at being left out, and Rayman. Mmm, Rayman. Bobbly body.

Damn I didn't even make the second list...she keeps telling me she wants to "ride the snake" too.....damn tease!!!

Skarr wrote: Damn I didn't even make the second list...she keeps telling me she wants to "ride the snake" too.....damn tease!!!

"Ride the Snake" - Skarr Translation = Strap a harness onto Skarr and ride him around Nocturnus like a pony while screaming "Faster Horsey Faster." Side note: Skarr was banned from 7 cities for this activity.

Seret Sajet wrote:

Skarr wrote: Damn I didn't even make the second list...she keeps telling me she wants to "ride the snake" too.....damn tease!!!

"Ride the Snake" - Skarr Translation = Strap a harness onto Skarr and ride him around Nocturnus like a pony while screaming "Faster Horsey Faster." Side note: Skarr was banned from 7 cities for this activity.

speaking of getting banned for certain types of activity

/asks dwilah for the picture of seret and zannon doing an "activity"