Hi, I'm SD Zannon...

[SD Zannon]

Dear SD Zannon,

Is it true your voice sounds like Super Mario (circa 1989 - the Super Mario Brothers Super Show)?

Pisano in Nocturnus

Dear Pissonyou,

First off, anything made by Nintendo (even a crappy cartoon) is a waste of time. Any company that rehashes over-used ideas and and out of date game platform technology the way they do deserves to go the way of the dinosaur. The way they keep clinging onto that damn monkey and those two over-weight degos, you'd think they were Midway Games!!! I mean, how many times do they think they can go to half-dead cow for milk? And don't even get me started on their systems!! Cartridges? Mini DVs??? Come on!! Get with the program!!! This is 2004...either get with the times or cash in your chips.

No, my poor, misguided friend, I DO NOT sound like Super Mario!

If you really must know, let me give you a little taste of the short-lived TV show that I was the star of. It was a great experience for me, even if I did have to play myself. We were ahead of our time with that show, and the public just wasn't ready for it. I'm just glad that SWG came along so that I could truely tap into my talent potential.

http://www.suneet.com/soniczone/sonic_u ... ARRIED.ZIP

-SDZ

[Shipwreck]

Dear SD Zannon,

I am having a little trouble with the ladies and I was wondering if I should get a little cosmetic surgery. Sure I'm pushing 60, but I mean hey all the parts still work like when I was 20. I just want to know if an old swabby like me can still get play from all the lovely ladies of Gorath or if I am gonna be stuck with a hutt.

Sincerely,

Stranded on a desert island surrounded by half naked Twi'leks that let the juices of fruit run down their bodies in the shimmering sunlight.

[Ekade]

SD Zannon,

What have you done with Zannon? Nobody has heard from him in several days.

Signed,
Worried about the little "he does not look very blue on my screen" blue guy.

[SD Zannon]

Dear SD Zannon,

I am having a little trouble with the ladies and I was wondering if I should get a little cosmetic surgery. Sure I'm pushing 60, but I mean hey all the parts still work like when I was 20. I just want to know if an old swabby like me can still get play from all the lovely ladies of Gorath or if I am gonna be stuck with a hutt.

Sincerely,

Stranded on a desert island surrounded by half naked Twi'leks that let the juices of fruit run down their bodies in the shimmering sunlight.

Dear Stranded,

First off, buddy, you gotta lose that circa 1979 sailor outfit unless you want to start batting for the other side, if you catch my drift. Second, close your damn shirt up. Women don't need to the see the forest for the tree /wink /wink. Finally, parrots on the shoulder are about as cute as Mon Calamarian with bad acne. Kick polly to the curb and get yourself a puppy instead.

If all else fails stick to those videos you have of Scarlet and Lady Jay. Its good to remember the old days, isn't it?

Yo Joe,
SDZ

[SD Zannon]

SD Zannon,

What have you done with Zannon? Nobody has heard from him in several days.

Signed,
Worried about the little "he does not look very blue on my screen" blue guy.

Dear Should-keep-her-mouth-shut,

Why? What have you heard? It was an accident. He did it to himself. I wasn't even there I was away at a.... film festival.... on Hoth. You can't pin nothing on me. He wanted that to happen you know, he asked for it. I want a lawyer. Do Mon Cals make good lawyers? I deny everything. I plead the 5th Imperial Ammendment. I've been set up. It was the one-armed Twi'lek! Let my people go!

Nothing to see here, move along.

Innocent until proven guilty,
SDZ

[Shadowpaw]

Hey SDZ,

Do you have any sidekicks? Every super cool dude has to have one, who's yours??

~T~

[SD Zannon]

Hey SDZ,

Do you have any sidekicks? Every super cool dude has to have one, who's yours??

~T~

Mr. ~T~,

First off, let me say nice squiggly siggy thingy. It reminds me of the symbol that Prince changed his name to, except that was cool and what you've got going there isn't.

Anyway, I do have to admit that, although I am a super cool dude that is unbelievably hot and sexy (you forgot that last part), I, sadly, do not have a sidekick. I know, I know...you're disappointed. It's not that I haven't tried, but the sidekick market just isn't what it used to be. Ever since all the cool sidekicks started getting their own staring roles, you just can't find a good one anymore. I mean, ever since Robin became Nightwing it's all been down hill. Who's really out there and looking for work? Bucky? Tweekie? Ike Turner? Not much to choose from are they?

How do I compensate for my lack of a sidekick? Well, that answer is simple...I keep a couple of fine hos with me at all times. One for each arm. When I get tired of them, it's straight to the curb for them and down to Harlem for me to pick up another couple of fine-ass bitches. Sure, it can get a little pricey. That's why it's a good thing that the big, blue limp noodle that goes around lookin' and actin' like me all the time hasn't noticed that his ZanJet Corperate credit card is missing.

Peace out!

-SDZ

[Shadowpaw]

Hey SDZ~

You got any spare "movies" layin' around with the chick on Sepiv's avatar?

I hear she's a pornstar. And she's HOT!!

[Sepiv]

ROFL! Yeah, she's a naughty little elf. I had /no/ idea when years ago I pulled her image for my X-wing pilot alter ego - who I chose to call Jinx. Years and years before the Bond movie, thank you very much. But with much the same attitude I think.

She was originally a girl rescued by a fighter pilot named Erisson when her family's freighter came under pirate attack. Her family killed in the attack, Erisson became her sun and moon. She pestered him nonstop to become a fighter pilot and showed some real instincts and skill from her time on the freighter. She and Erisson were wingmen in the Rebel Alliance in a SW paper RPG that ended years ago. Then SWG comes out and I get to bring her back!

Of course her story was a real re-vision of her, mostly because of how SWG came out.

Oh, shoot -- back on topic! So I found this internet picture of who Jinx was -- and I learn later that she's a pornstar and in an anime costume. This is way before google - I don't even remember how I was searching! Haha!

Now you're able to do a google search on her: Aika Miura, and among the many naughty pics there you can also see full body poses of her in that crazy flightsuit! lol! Happy surfing! ;)

[Sepiv]

In a clean way, I think this is one of the hotter pics of her. I could *so* see Jinx like this too:

Have you been a good little elf? lol!
http://homepage.ntlworld.com/stevebrown ... 0Miura.jpg

[Sepiv]

Oh - Super-Sexy-Super-Deformed Zannon (SSSDZ for short),

Why are boys so determined to "show me their X-wings?" I just don't understand...

Thanks, sweet SSSDZ -- oh so let's make that SSSSDZ. ;)

puzzled J

[IagoBoom]

Dear SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSDZ,

Why does the matchmaker search in SWG let you search by bloodtype?

--I hope Blade 3 is as good

(bah, Cyan sucks...gotta ask about making the green brighter...)

[SD Zannon]

Hey SDZ~

You got any spare "movies" layin' around with the chick on Sepiv's avatar?

I hear she's a pornstar. And she's HOT!!

Dear Horny for the Honey,

Spares? No, none of those, but let me see what I have in the archives here. Be right back...................................

















OK, let me see what's in this box...we have Heart Beat, Slut Actress 5, and Give Up Being Human. They are all pretty decent, although, out of them, I'd pick Heart Beat to be the best. The thing you have to remember about Japanese porn is that it's freakin' weird. First off, all of these were made before 2001, so Japan had this messed up decency law where they had to pixilate all the naughty bits...you know, the big three: The coochie, the sausage, and the tooter hole. I dunno why, because you can still figure out what's going on. Maybe their porn film industry was trying to protect the annominity of the above mentioned goodie parts by making them harder to recognize. Hell, maybe in Japanese society it's it was customary to not look people in the face, but to walk up to them and yank down their pants and check out their "cash and prizes". Anyway, you can expect one of four things from any Japenese porn...1) a midget, 2) a dildo that looks like some cyborg's arm (they make everything else small but their sex toys I guess), 3) 5 Jap men standing some woman on her head while wearing latex gloves playing her like the jug in a jug band, or 4) Santa Claus. Now, if you're still interested, I'll loan you one of these puppies, but don't say I didn't warn ya.

Granted, the star in question is indeed very hot in these fine features, but you'll never be as fly as me if you have to ask on a public forum to borrow porn.

-SDZ

[SD Zannon]

Oh - Super-Sexy-Super-Deformed Zannon (SSSDZ for short),

Why are boys so determined to "show me their X-wings?" I just don't understand...

Thanks, sweet SSSDZ -- oh so let's make that SSSSDZ. ;)

puzzled J

Dear Super Sexy Getting Me Hot and Bothered Because She's Talking About Me (SSGMHABBSTAM for short),

If you gotta ask, then I think you need to come over to my Lake Venri retreat and I'll make sure you find out. I mean, do you not have a mirror? GRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOWWWWWWLLLLLL!!!!

Come by this weekend. I'll make you feel like a real woman, unlike the rest of the uncivilized mouth breathers around here.

-SSSSDZ

[Zannon]

Hey SD Zannon,

I heard you had a cameo in EPIII, is this true and where were you at in it?

Who did you blow to get a part in the flick????