Tuesday Humor from the corporate world

[Illbleed]

Fun stuff--read up and apply these valuable life lessons =)

1. A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

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Lesson number two ...
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the
top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung
and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first
branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.



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Lesson number three ...

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain
said, " I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and
functions." The feet said, " We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work
while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Moral of the story:
You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do

[alexandria nexus]

nice

[Jabe Adaks]

Its all too true.

Jabe

[Shipwreck]

I have a lot of problems at work with the way we do certain things. The problems are compounded when I ask why do we do this this way and the response is, "I dunno, we have always done it this way." When I am told this by one of the many people I work with I tell them the story of the five monkeys. I may have told it before, but here goes:

Five monkeys are in a cage. Researchers place a ladder in the center of the cage with bananas at the top. Anytime a monkey tries to go up the ladder the other monkeys are shocked with shock sticks. This continues until the monkeys eventually attack whatever monkey tries to go up the ladder on their own. Then one by one the monkeys are replaced until none of the original five monkeys are in the cage. Now there are five monkeys in the cage that have never been shocked but anytime a monkey tries to climb the ladder he is beaten by the others. Why do the monkeys beat whoever goes up the ladder? They don't know why, its just the way its always been done.