SWG Tales

Just for fun I'm starting a new Stupid Shit thread and mentioning the stupid crap that I've endured in just one day.

1. Weird Salad Man
Today on lunch I grabbed a salad from a local cafeteria. While in line the man in front of me turns to me out of the blue and says in a whimsickle tone, "Nigh Vision." I have NO idea what he meant. Now for weeks I'll be wondering what the hell does Night Vision have to do with the salad bar? Maybe the salads affected his Night Vision. In that case there should be a sign that mentions you should drive at night after having one of their salads. Goddamn now THAT is stupid shit.

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2. Get the hint, Lady
At the gas station after work I waited in line patiently for my turn to pay. Right before I step up a woman comes walking in, goes straight up the counter and asks if they accept Speed Pass. The clerk replied "No, that's Mobil (as in its name, Mobil Speed Pass)." This was a BP so of course it would not work. He then informed her that the closest Mobil station was several miles down the road. She replied "What about 7/11 over there? Do they take it?" The clerk replied, "No, only Mobil takes the speed pass." She asked again, "What about Speedway?" Again the clerk reminded her a MOBIL speed pass only works at MOBIL. Her final question was "And thre is no other gas stations around here that takes it?" Oh the horror of people that just don't get the point. Pure Stupid Shit.

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3. Now Beta testing monkeys

I recieved my latests copy of EGM today and they were kind enough to package it with a AOL 9.0 disk. Yay! Now I have more ammo to practice my deadly ninja throwing star skills. But then I looked at the back of the oh-so-neato tin it came in. The registration code word was MONKEY BETA. Monkey Beta? Who's beta testing monkeys? Perhaps AOL hired monkeys to Beta test 9.0. The funny thing is my online gaming clan is known as the Mad Monkeys. Some of my best SWG buds are fellow Mad Monkeys. The AOL disk listed Monkey Beta as the activation code for a friend if I chose to help them get the terror of AOL. How did AOL know my friends are Monkeys? Amazing. But thats just me talking stupid shit.

my stupid shit experience came just the other day

I was at a creative fiction/poetry reading (yes the lizard man can be cultured) that was delived at the local college.

these events are given once a semester. Now this one guy steps up to the mike, and starts out by saying that he wrote this from 730am -830am just 2 days prior for an assignment in class. Okaaaay, I'm thinking a rush job, but it might be good. Second he says that he doesn't get along with microphones. Okaaaaay.

The story was entitled "Indian" and for the life of me I have no idea what the story was about. Why you ask? Because he read the story so nervously fast you didn't know what the hell was going on. All the characters spoken lines ran together into a mishmash of words. He jumped between the current timeline and the past so quickly back and forth you never knew what year it was.

All I know was this about the story. There was a stain on the wood floor. People would think it was jesus and come and pray to it and cry. I have no idea what the plot or the ending was. And finally there was no indian.

15 minutes of pure "WTF?!???!?"

Seret Sajet wrote:At the gas station after work I waited in line patiently for my turn to pay. Right before I step up a woman comes walking in, goes straight up the counter and asks if they accept Speed Pass.

Dude, you should have called the cops and reported she had a stolen Speed Pass.

They don't just send you one in the mail. You have to apply for it, and it comes with I'm sure very specific instructions as to who accepts Speed Pass (basically Mobil and McDonald's).

She was looking for some free gas.

X'an Shin wrote:

Seret Sajet wrote:At the gas station after work I waited in line patiently for my turn to pay. Right before I step up a woman comes walking in, goes straight up the counter and asks if they accept Speed Pass.

Dude, you should have called the cops and reported she had a stolen Speed Pass.

They don't just send you one in the mail. You have to apply for it, and it comes with I'm sure very specific instructions as to who accepts Speed Pass (basically Mobil and McDonald's).

She was looking for some free gas.

The thought crossed my mind as soon as I got to my car. The way she desperately wanted to find a place who accepts the Speed Pass close by said one of two things: One, she is low on gas and didn't think she could make it far or Two, she stole it and wanted to use it before the owner reported it stolen and deactivated it.

But there was no justification for calling the cops. It was only a guess and cops don't get far on guesses.

screw that man...calling the cops on people is fun. My roomates and I would get shit faced and then call in "anonymous tips" that there were parties going on at the fraternity across the street from our apartment.
Then we would sit on our porch and wait for the cruiser to pull into their driveway. That was fun.

Huh, and we just launched water balloons at the Pikes from the safety of our back yard. No need to waste taxpayer dollars to have fun at the frat boys' expense!

We were doing our civic duty Dooo. It was a dry campus and all housing that is certified to house freshman has to be dry all the time.

I am a good citizen.

MrDooo wrote:Huh, and we just launched water balloons at the Pikes from the safety of our back yard. No need to waste taxpayer dollars to have fun at the frat boys' expense!

I still say we go back and steal that god-damned cannon.

Who's with me?

Night Vision - Salads
Carrots - Night Vision
Salads - Carrots

Seret, I solved your salad man mystery...you ran into Dib at the lunch counter.

Dib wrote:Night Vision - Salads
Carrots - Night Vision
Salads - Carrots

Thanks for solving the mystery, now that I think about it I was getting carrots for my salad when he said it. It still qualifies the incident at stupid shit though. What does this guy do, point of the benefits of food all over the place?

I guarantee somewhere out there someone who is creeped out because this man was next to them at the grocery store when they were buying milk and with his creepy look he stared at them and said "BONES!" Restraining order pending approval.

Seret Sajet wrote:I guarantee somewhere out there someone who is creeped out because this man was next to them at the grocery store when they were buying milk and with his creepy look he stared at them and said "BONES!"

Oh My God... the funny!!! LMAO!!

Oh My God.. Was that show actually on television?

:lol:

Nah, its just a parody sketch someone put together and the site tries to make it look like a real show. Its damn funny though.