Things You Learn from (Old School) Video Games

[Jerrel]

There is no problem that cannot be overcome by force

If it moves, DESTROY IT!

Piloting any vehicles is simple and requires no trainning

One lone "good guy" can defeat an infanite number of "bad guys"

Make sure you eat all food lying on the ground

You can break things and get away with it

You can push other vehicles off the road and get away with it

If some one dies, they disapear

If you get mad enough, you can fight even better

You can over come most adversaries simply by having enough quarters

You can opperate all weapons with out trainning

No matter how long you fight, you can always fight again

Death is reversable (only for you!)

Ninjas are common and frequently fight in public

Whenever a big fat mean guys are about to croak, they begin to flash red or yellow

You never run out of ammunition, just gernades

All women wear revealing clothes and have great bodies

Shoot every thing. If it blows up or dies, it was bad

Don't worry if you vehicles crashes or explodes. A new vehicle will appear in it's place.

A thousand-to-one odds against you is NOT a problem

Found all this on a poster my little brother got from his girl friend. Post some of your own if you like.

[Skarr]

Never underestimate the power of an italian plumber

[Krusshyk]

It is ok to jump on the head of a crocodile to cross a lake.

[Skarr]

eating mushrooms makes you see whacky colors and makes you grow big and strong

[Jaminos]

If a chick gets shot enough times while wearing armor she will explode out of it wearing a bikini.

[E-bo Obi]

As long as you have Marcus Allen and Bo Jackson on your football team you will never lose.

[Curse]

If you're a star basketball player you can also invent your own style of kung fu, and then put it into a video game.

[Hashum]

if you have Bo Jackson on your baseball team you can never lose

if you kill your evil self you become white and more powerful

the only way to get the girl is to kill lots of people

evil is dumb

we're all really only 2D

Monkeys are bad and throw thing

You never get arrested for breaking the speed limit, and never have to go to court

you need 5 people to save the world

[Nyase]

No matter how small the vehicle, you can rescue and hold an infinate amount of people.

Monkeys kidnap women all the time.

Items of power are seperated into 8 peices.

The hero always rescues the girl, but she's always ugly and you wish you hadn't.

[Krusshyk]

If you jump on something, you can be sure of one of two things...

You just killed it or it just killed you.

[Illbleed]

Herbs are good for you, they can heal your health. Stay away from the Red Herb! (RE)

Most female police officers come to work in tight mini skirts and impossibly tight tops. (Jill Valentine- RE)

Jumping onto flagpoles from great heights gains many rewards (Mario)

[Jabe Adaks]

The one thing that I will never forget: All your base are belong to us!

Jabe

[Seret Sajet]

What I learned from Lucas Arts games....
You can solve any situation by getting the person the item they need by giving another person an item you found in exchange for the before-mentioned item

What I learned from Nintendo games...
Jumping on the backs of turtles makes their shells fly across the room and ricochet back at you. I have lost many pet turtles testing this theory but one day I shall prove it can happen.

What I learned from Square games...
A small cactus who likes to run is stronger than a world-destroying king of the dragons. Fear the might of Cactaur.

What I learned from Capcom games...
Whatever my enemy's name is shall be his primary source of power followed by "Man."

What I learned from Konami games...
Gang members are tough. They can withstand pipes, thrown knives and even M16 machine gun fire and still get back up. Double Dragons have their work cut out for them

[Jaminos]

If you live in a world with creatures known as Poke'mon you can fly on birds across the world that are the size of a base ball.

[IagoBoom]

People hide food and weapons in candles.

No matter how far you fall with your motorcycle, you can get up in under five seconds and be ready to drive again.

Your long-lost twin brother is evil.
Your shadow is evil.
Your estranged father is evil.
...essentially...disown your family.

Ninja are fashionable and like bright colors.

Women in space armor are VERY flexible and can turn into little balls.

Giant robots are no match for woodland creatures.

All ducks are mallards.

If you see a spinning or beating heart on the ground, pick it up...it will help you.

Shoes with wings are like steroids without the side effects.

There are only three possible actions in hockey: shoot, skate or pass.

If you need a weapon, find an old man.

The turtles that don't get jumped on learn martial arts from rats.

Ghosts taste like chicken.