SWG Tales

Since the boards are slow and Zannon is away on vacation I thought I'd start a thread for all of you SWGers out there with some Star Wars Related questions. Its very simple, just ask SD Zannon anything and he'll give you an informative and educated response.


Ask me anything ya bastards!

Dear SD Zannon,

I would like to know how cool it would be if Sam Raimi was allowed to direct the third Star Wars Prequel. Please be as elaborate as possible in your reply.

Thank you.

Dear SD Zannon,

This sort of goes hand-in-hand with the above question. If Sam Raimi directed Episode III, what role in the movie would my hunk of manlove Ted Raimi get?

Here's hoping,

Starstruck in Lost City

Dear Raimi-Lover,

You sir a living in a dream world and I'd like to stop by there sometime. Sam Raimi directing Star Wars would send the SW world spinning out of orbit into a colorfull funk that no man can handle. Just image the chaotic lightsaber duels, imagine villians you actually love to hate, imagine less CG-modifications and more real life action.

Bascially, imagine a good new Star Wars movie. Not easy to do, huh?

So order me a margaritta in Dreamland and save me a seat. For the rest, you have my sympathies.

Best Regards,
SD Zannon

Dwilah wrote:Dear SD Zannon,

This sort of goes hand-in-hand with the above question. If Sam Raimi directed Episode III, what role in the movie would my hunk of manlove Ted Raimi get?

Here's hoping,

Starstruck in Lost City

Dear Starstruck,
That's an easy one. He'd play me! Hey, I look quite good for my age. I play an integral role Episode III, practically handing the Vader armor over to Anakin but at the last minute Mr. Lucas decided I wasn't animated enough and replaced me with an CG-animated Droid named Spooky Spanks. Thanks for nothing, Lucas. Sam wouldn't diss me like that.

I will be in an easter egg in the super special edition DVD coming out in 2007 with 2 and a half minutes of extra footage though!

All my love,
SD Zannon

Dear SD Zannon,

Where are my kids? I mean, I remember my wife, a beautiful Mon Cal woman with light blue skin so rubbery... I remember the frantic trip to the med center through the bustling streets of Nashall on Talus... the joy in naming all 102 of them... the sadness when only 3 were left after the first month... Then a little over a year ago, POOF, it was like I was starting from scratch with everything. I mean, it's only now that I'm even remembering that I had a family other than the Noc townsfolk. Please, SD Zannon, where are my wife and kids?


Missin the Kissin in Nocturnus

MrDooo wrote:Dear SD Zannon,

Where are my kids? I mean, I remember my wife, a beautiful Mon Cal woman with light blue skin so rubbery... I remember the frantic trip to the med center through the bustling streets of Nashall on Talus... the joy in naming all 102 of them... the sadness when only 3 were left after the first month... Then a little over a year ago, POOF, it was like I was starting from scratch with everything. I mean, it's only now that I'm even remembering that I had a family other than the Noc townsfolk. Please, SD Zannon, where are my wife and kids?


Missin the Kissin in Nocturnus

Dear Missin,

I pity you, young Mon Cal. I was there when the tragedy struck. I was the one who rescued you from a terrible fate but I was unable to save the other Mon Cals. It was such a horrific day.

The attackers where mericless. They swoop down on repulsor skiffs armed to the teeth with Geonosian Stun Blasters and large hooks, nets and containers. They drove all of the Mon Cals into a corner and swiftly snatched them up like a reptilian flyer grabs its prey. The sounds of the Mon Cals thrashing and straining in the large holding containers was too much to hear. They quickly sped off to their stronghold with evil grins on their faces. All this carnage just to feed their evil Empire.

Was it the Imperial Army you ask? No, not at all. It was the Red Lobster of Talus. Their only official statement was "Hey, the Talusians gotta eat!"

When they brought out the melted butter I just had to look away. I did save something to prove the days event for future inquisitions.

Its all yours.


My deepest sympathies,
SD Zannon

Dear SD Zannon,

What's it like being so ultra-cool and popular? How do you manage to stay such a hot eligible bachelor?

Curious

Sepiv wrote:Dear SD Zannon,

What's it like being so ultra-cool and popular? How do you manage to stay such a hot eligible bachelor?

Curious

Dear Curious,

Trust me, its not easy being "The Zannon." I've had to break a lot of hearts on my road to fame. When it comes to my dedication to filling this server with joy I can't be tied down. I once had to let a purple Twi'lek dancer down easy when she proposed. It was one of the hardest thing I've had to do.

But I stand committed to my bachelorhood. I can't be tied down when I'm called up to wipe out a horde of Nightsisters or save a village from a Tusken attack. If I were to stay in a committed attack it would just get ruined by the countless calls for help from Zannon or when Seret is lost and doesn't know how to run his Arms business. Lots of people need me, I can't commit to just one.

Well, there's that, and the fact that my mom doesn't like when I bring strange girls over the house. She says women are just tools of the Emperor.

A wink and a smile,
SD Zannon

Seret Sajet wrote: Well, there's that, and the fact that my mom doesn't like when I bring strange girls over the house.

Dear SD Zannon,

What does your mom say about me?

That Bothan That Hangs Around Too Much

Hello SD Zannon,

I come to you as my last hope. I have searched far and wide to find an answer to my question, and as of yet I have turned up nothing. I have asked policemen, judges, parents, scholars, and religious leaders. If I could talk to the president, he may know. I'll never get that chance, however, so I turn to find your guidance.

Oh great and wise SD Zannon, tell me honestly....






























Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?

Dwilah wrote:
Dear SD Zannon,

What does your mom say about me?

That Bothan That Hangs Around Too Much

Dear Hangs Around,

My mother has no problems with you hanging around as long as you go on the paper and you stop chewing up her shoes.

See you soon,
SD Zannon

Dear SD Zannon,

Do you like yogurt?

TramelRaggs wrote:Hello SD Zannon,

Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?

Dear Wayne Brady Fan,

I have heard of this Wayne Brady. He lives in Coronet does he not? He sings there in the cantina for tips.

To answer your question I have sought out a seer from Dathomir's Singing Mountain Clan. She has looked into this matter and saw the Wayne's future.

In one year he will marry, then 3 days later choke his wife, kick his pet gnort, burn down his house, slap his 3rd grade teacher, run for Senator, fight off a mod of evil settlers, kill the Burbo, go back and slap his 3rd grade teacher again - this time with the gnort, give the Emperor a pink belly and die is a fiery shuttle accident (don't look at me /whistles).

So to answer your question simplisticly, yes, sometimes Wayne Bradys gotta choke a bitch.

Praying for you soul,
SD Zannon

Novall wrote:Dear SD Zannon,

Do you like yogurt?

Dear Yogurtman,

Of course I love Yogurt. No one has been a better friend to me. I visit him as often as I can in that little underground temple of his under the desert. He's really a sweet old man. He does talk a lot about something called the "Schwartz" and he keeps trying to sell me a flamethrower with "Spaceballs" written on it but that doesn't bother me.

Now if only that guy with the HUGE black helmet would stop coming around and leaving a flaming bag of womprat poo on the doorstep. Thats guy's a jerk.

Happy to meet another fan,
SD Zannon