Wisconsin Dells' Statistics

[Zannon]

11 - Number of people, both men & women, wearing wifebeater shirts at Walmart on a Sunday night when you run in for camera batteries.

5 - Most number of f-bombs your wife will use in a single sentence when describing Wisconsin Dells' drivers. Also, the number of separate occasions your wife exclaims, "Jesus Christ!" after inadvertently going to an area of the hotel room that you thought would be a safe place to let loose some wild gas.

17 and 1 - The cost per person to eat at Black Bart's Old West Buffet and the number of times you will go to Black Bart's Buffet in your lifetime.

3 - The number of items on Black Bart's Buffet....there was a bin of rib bones--not sure who those were for...maybe dog's eat free? Also, the number of times you have to wash your hands to get the smell of Black Bart's chicken off your fingers (...hey, maybe that's what caused the second 5 incident). The number of times in a three-night trip that you have to go out driving at 8:30 at night to get your 2-year old to go to sleep.

1 - The number of worthwhile things to do indoors in Wisconsin Dells to entertain a 2-year old when it's raining (other than the indoor waterpark at your resort)...although we never found it, there must be one. Also, the number of men who just emerged from the hotel pool, yet still reek of b.o.

556 - Number of T-shirt shops in the Wisconsin Dells.

6 - The number of Tommy Bartlett attractions in the Dells.

2 - The number of types of fish at the Silver Springs Aquarium (trout, golden trout). Also, the number of different types of animals at the Silver Springs Aquarium (trout, turtles). The number of pot-bellied piglets befriended by Zannon at Storybook Gardens.

20 and 4 - The number of minutes an adult and a 2-year old, respectively, will be entertained at the Silver Springs Aquarium.

1,540,356 - The number of dead, stuffed and mounted wild animals used as decoration in Wisconsin Dells.

13 - Most consecutive ass-cracks viewed at the hotel pool in one afternoon.

50 - Number of consecutive times a 2-year old can go down a waterslide before it's time to do something else.

120 - The decibel level that your 2-year old can shout "COW!" in a restaurant after seeing a tiny portion of cowskin hanging on the wall.

7 - The number of whole watermelons you watched a family bring in to their hotel room the day you were checking out.

4 - Number of days you could have spent at Disney World for the same price you spent for 3 days in Wisconsin Dells. Also, the number of seconds it takes to get completely soaked by a rainstorm, running 10 feet to get the car (6 seconds to get back into the hotel after being momentarily stunned by a blow to the head from a golf-ball sized chunk of hail).

0 - The number of attractions in the Wisconsin Dells that are as cool as you remember them from when you were a kid.

[Jotun]

Holy Shit!

[Coiyonite Adaks]

THe Dells are legendary to me in child hood memory. I took my wife ther in July because she had never been there and it was uh, different than I remember. Not to mention the room was cheap until you get the surprise 18% tax/built in gratuity...

Funny post Zan-man, you got it covered!

Coiy

[X'an Shin]

I laughed, I cried, it was better than Cats.

[Dwilah]

What are the Dells?

[Ekade]

What are the Dells?

I am not sure what a "dell" is... but it is a well known vacation spot in the midwest. The Wisconsin Dells are a tourist trap with no worthwhile natural phenomenon.


OMFG Zannon!! That list was hilarious. My one comment is ... Well, DUH!!!

WTF did you expect? I mean.. COME ON.. people from Minnesota look forward to going to the dells. Everyone else goes to florida, or the carribean.

[Zannon]

You know, you just try to re-kindle that childhood experience and the harsh reality of Wisconsin just kicks you in the balls.

Anyway, Dwilah...it's best you never find out...and I never go back.

It's a lot safer for everyone concerned.

[Coiyonite Adaks]

The Wisconsin Dells are a tourist trap with no worthwhile natural phenomenon.

Not true! They have the wonder spot!!! The house that makes you fall sideways!

And they have that whitehouse that fell upside down called "Top Secret" where I paid over 20 bucks to get my head slammed by a 2x4 when one of their displays broke.

And don't forget the Dells themselves. They're the best Dells in the world.

Coiy

[Seret Sajet]

I expeinced the same disappointment a few years back. I mean the water show was alright but everything else made we want to rob one of their t-shirt shops and set fire to the "Robot" exibit.

[Lok'i Vidaar]

For all of you wondering what the hell a wisconsin dell is... (just like I was)

http://www.dells.com/

That should clear it up ;)

[TramelRaggs]

The Wisconsin Dells are a tourist trap with no worthwhile natural phenomenon.

Not true! They have the wonder spot!!! The house that makes you fall sideways!

And they have that whitehouse that fell upside down called "Top Secret" where I paid over 20 bucks to get my head slammed by a 2x4 when one of their displays broke.

And don't forget the Dells themselves. They're the best Dells in the world.

Coiy

Bro, you forgot the Dells most popular attraction! The amphibious boats!

[Ekade]

Bro, you forgot the Dells most popular attraction! The amphibious boats!

Known as the "Ducks"... or at least they were called that in those cheezy commercials back in the 70's.

[TramelRaggs]

Bro, you forgot the Dells most popular attraction! The amphibious boats!

Known as the "Ducks"... or at least they were called that in those cheezy commercials back in the 70's.

Whoa, you remember commercials from the 70s? You must be like 90!

[Coiyonite Adaks]

Bro, you forgot the Dells most popular attraction! The amphibious boats!

Known as the "Ducks"... or at least they were called that in those cheezy commercials back in the 70's.

Whoa, you remember commercials from the 70s? You must be like 90!

I remember those too now that I think of it. We're old Zannon..

Coiy

[Lok'i Vidaar]

Hey I remember those too.. Wait a second.. I don't live in or near IL.. Nor was I alive then, probably not even a mere thought in someone's mind then either.

But just cause you do remember that doesn't make ya old.. c'mon now..