My review of Doom...
Ok, in all seriousness...
Sometimes you have a crappy day at work on a day that also happens to be your birthday and you just want to go see something that really sucks. This was my position on Friday and I decided that the fact that Doom came out that very same day was a sure sign of destiny. So, after an excessively bad for me dinner that included a couple of very large beers, we headed over to the local theater to take in the spectacle that is Doom.
I'll be the first to tell ya that the moment I saw the first preview for the movie, I turned to my wife and said, "We have to go see that move!" Of course, she asked why and the reason was simple....because any movie that looks that crappy from the preview has to be seen.
First off, the previews were pretty damn good...Underworld: Evolution and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire both look great.
The movie starts off in the thick of it, diving into the action with both feet without stoping for any semblence of an engaging plot or even character development...except for one character, he gets about 2 1/2 mins of development right off the bat, which gives away the ending because anyone given that much time has got to live. The beginning of the movie gives a bit to the ladies by having The Rock wander around with his shirt off, making sure to give you a nice, long close up of his muscular back...yummy. Then you meet the rest of the squad...it appears they opened up the Hollywood grab bag of marine squad cliches and dumped it into this movie. An asian, couple of black guys (one big, quiet and athletic, the other loud goofy) , the southern white guy that throws out bible quotes at the drop of the hat, the new kid, The guy with a troubled past that has someone he knows and loves down where they have to go. The last guy deserves his own sentence, he's the obnoxious, obscene, and fugly guy that seems like he'd be a good source of comic relief, except for the fact that you can't understand half of what he says...not because of the way he talks, but because half the shit makes no sense at all. It's jibberish, maybe leet speak, I can't be 100% sure...maybe they were trying to go for a game feel and give you the asshole that constantly grates on your nerves while playing it in multi-player.
Anyway, I found myself really entertained by the movie, even saying to myself, "Wow, I wish this movie was Alien 4." Sure, it was dumb, shallow, and nothing more than a whole lot of shooting, bad one liners, and some gore, but, dammit, it wasn't that bad....and this kinda disappointed me. Of course, it is one of those cliche-ridden movies, so you can expect that, as soon as someone does not have a buddy with him, (or wanders off to take a shit...not kidding), they're dead....and you can see it coming as clear as if there was an 18 wheeler barreling down at them right after they twisted their ankle. Well, all went fine and I was enjoying it untill...
Dum, dum, dum....our hero gets injected with the extra chromosome that creates the demons (not sure how that works) and the movie goes into first person perspective for about 15 minutes. My wife and I were laughing out loud at this the whole time. It was like watching the game with live action actors, except it moves so fast at times that all it became was a blur. It actually felt like I was watching the game "House of the Dead" because stuff would just jump out and stand there a second until they got shot. To say this was funny is an understatement..it was downright side-splitting hilarity. After that segement, the movie finishes up with normal movie persptectives.
Overall, not worth the $9.50 a ticket I spent, unless you've had a bad day at work. I give it a C+.
Here are some snapshot highlights:
1. Crippled guy in a wheelchair that's part of his body being picked up by his head and banged around...then dragged off screaming while still being carried by his head.
2. Demons that are clearly guys in rubber suits getting shot in the first person perspective scenes...obviously, this technology reached it's peak in Creature from the Black Lagoon and it's been downhill since.
3. Any time The Rock has a line...I got the feeling that they actually only had a set and props. The script was just random pages from every other action movie with marines in it...and included this gem..."Semper Fi, Mother fucker." Seriously, that was about the best line in the movie.
4. Character committing suicide by running up to a window and hitting his head against it...over and over.
5. Character dies while taking crap...ya just can't beat that.
Well, that just about does it...hope this doesn't spoil it for ya.
Sometimes you have a crappy day at work on a day that also happens to be your birthday and you just want to go see something that really sucks. This was my position on Friday and I decided that the fact that Doom came out that very same day was a sure sign of destiny. So, after an excessively bad for me dinner that included a couple of very large beers, we headed over to the local theater to take in the spectacle that is Doom.
I'll be the first to tell ya that the moment I saw the first preview for the movie, I turned to my wife and said, "We have to go see that move!" Of course, she asked why and the reason was simple....because any movie that looks that crappy from the preview has to be seen.
First off, the previews were pretty damn good...Underworld: Evolution and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire both look great.
The movie starts off in the thick of it, diving into the action with both feet without stoping for any semblence of an engaging plot or even character development...except for one character, he gets about 2 1/2 mins of development right off the bat, which gives away the ending because anyone given that much time has got to live. The beginning of the movie gives a bit to the ladies by having The Rock wander around with his shirt off, making sure to give you a nice, long close up of his muscular back...yummy. Then you meet the rest of the squad...it appears they opened up the Hollywood grab bag of marine squad cliches and dumped it into this movie. An asian, couple of black guys (one big, quiet and athletic, the other loud goofy) , the southern white guy that throws out bible quotes at the drop of the hat, the new kid, The guy with a troubled past that has someone he knows and loves down where they have to go. The last guy deserves his own sentence, he's the obnoxious, obscene, and fugly guy that seems like he'd be a good source of comic relief, except for the fact that you can't understand half of what he says...not because of the way he talks, but because half the shit makes no sense at all. It's jibberish, maybe leet speak, I can't be 100% sure...maybe they were trying to go for a game feel and give you the asshole that constantly grates on your nerves while playing it in multi-player.
Anyway, I found myself really entertained by the movie, even saying to myself, "Wow, I wish this movie was Alien 4." Sure, it was dumb, shallow, and nothing more than a whole lot of shooting, bad one liners, and some gore, but, dammit, it wasn't that bad....and this kinda disappointed me. Of course, it is one of those cliche-ridden movies, so you can expect that, as soon as someone does not have a buddy with him, (or wanders off to take a shit...not kidding), they're dead....and you can see it coming as clear as if there was an 18 wheeler barreling down at them right after they twisted their ankle. Well, all went fine and I was enjoying it untill...
Dum, dum, dum....our hero gets injected with the extra chromosome that creates the demons (not sure how that works) and the movie goes into first person perspective for about 15 minutes. My wife and I were laughing out loud at this the whole time. It was like watching the game with live action actors, except it moves so fast at times that all it became was a blur. It actually felt like I was watching the game "House of the Dead" because stuff would just jump out and stand there a second until they got shot. To say this was funny is an understatement..it was downright side-splitting hilarity. After that segement, the movie finishes up with normal movie persptectives.
Overall, not worth the $9.50 a ticket I spent, unless you've had a bad day at work. I give it a C+.
Here are some snapshot highlights:
1. Crippled guy in a wheelchair that's part of his body being picked up by his head and banged around...then dragged off screaming while still being carried by his head.
2. Demons that are clearly guys in rubber suits getting shot in the first person perspective scenes...obviously, this technology reached it's peak in Creature from the Black Lagoon and it's been downhill since.
3. Any time The Rock has a line...I got the feeling that they actually only had a set and props. The script was just random pages from every other action movie with marines in it...and included this gem..."Semper Fi, Mother fucker." Seriously, that was about the best line in the movie.
4. Character committing suicide by running up to a window and hitting his head against it...over and over.
5. Character dies while taking crap...ya just can't beat that.
Well, that just about does it...hope this doesn't spoil it for ya.
-
Zannon
- SWG Tales Founder
As long as it was better than Super Mario Bros.: The Movie and not quite as good as say, oh, Resident Evil.... I guess I'll watch it; but I'll wait for DvD of course. 
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Sai'nu
- The Kika'Vati Order
Wait.... are you talking about a movie or our recent RP arcs?Zannon wrote:Sure, it was dumb, shallow, and nothing more than a whole lot of shooting, bad one liners, and some gore, but, dammit, it wasn't that bad..
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Ekade
- The Kika'Vati Order
The muscular retarded guy from alien 4 with the huge cro-magnon man face is my favorite character in that movie. He's one of my favorite B-movie actors. That and he acts like a monkey while tossing a knife into the cripple's leg.
I really had no desire to see this movie anyway. I haven't seen anything that made me say "I have to see that" recently.
And what makes you think all groups of marines AREN'T like that?
I am kinda sick of formula movies, why doesn't anyone have and/or use independant thought.
If we (swgtalers..) were to pool our creative resources, we could make a pretty awesome movie... but Ekade would probably be naked in it at some point.... so... Maybe we shouldn't expose the world to that.
I really had no desire to see this movie anyway. I haven't seen anything that made me say "I have to see that" recently.
And what makes you think all groups of marines AREN'T like that?
I am kinda sick of formula movies, why doesn't anyone have and/or use independant thought.
If we (swgtalers..) were to pool our creative resources, we could make a pretty awesome movie... but Ekade would probably be naked in it at some point.... so... Maybe we shouldn't expose the world to that.
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warsloth
- Surface Marshal
What was that? I didn't quite catch that.Ekade wrote:Was the movie better than Wing Commander?
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E-bo Obi
- Grand Moff
- Server
Legends
E-bo Obi wrote:What was that? I didn't quite catch that.Ekade wrote:Was the movie better than Wing Commander?
You never saw Wing Commander? You are in for a real treat. It's another movie based off of a video game series.
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Ekade
- The Kika'Vati Order
Oh shit. i'm in. But after the recent set of movies that came back from overseas with me she has threatened me with bodily harm. I think I may have to wait a while.
All I said today was I really need to pick up Strange Brew on dvd...
All I said today was I really need to pick up Strange Brew on dvd...
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E-bo Obi
- Grand Moff
- Server
Legends
Yeah...and it's what the guy was dropping off in the can.X'an Shin wrote:Can you smell what the Sarge is cookin'?
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Zannon
- SWG Tales Founder
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