December 28, 2005
White House Celebrates Fifth Straight Year Without Oral Sex
WASHINGTON, DCWith 2005 drawing to a close, the White House held a special ceremony in the East Room Saturday to commemorate its fifth year without any sort of oral-genital contact within its historic confines. "This administration has upheld its promise to restore dignity to the White House," President Bush said. "I can assure that no oneincluding myself, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, 'Scooter' Libby, or Condi Ricehas been the recipient, or provider, of the kind of unnatural, depraved, and frankly gross sexual act that, not too long ago, disgraced this office in the eyes of the world." Bush was then joined on stage by Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-TN) and Tom DeLay to cut a perfectly square, frostingless vanilla cake made especially for the occasion.
The president and Laura Bush, whose mouths have never touched each other's genitalia.
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