What did I learn today? That the English word "customer" is synonymous with the word "brainless asshole".
I am filling in today for the woman who normally answers phone calls and handles our shipping. I get a fax order in for one of our products; however, it is lacking any mention of how many cases of product the "customer" wants.
In the spot where it says unit cost, it says 1.1175. And under total cost it has 6 thousand something, I don't remember what. Anyway, there is NOTHING THAT WE STOCK that costs one dollar and eleven cents. What did this fruit loop do? He converted his cost per case, into cost per bag (20 bags in a case, wanted like 270 cases). Why did he do that? Shit if I know. We don't sell anything "by the bag". We never have and we never will. But apparantly this dipshit figures I had the free time to figure out what the hell it is he wanted to pay me for. I wanted to fax him back a picture of me giving the finger with a caption that read, "Sorry, we don't sell to dumbasses."
Bleh.
New definition
Yes don't you love Customers. It seems that whenever anyone wants to buy anything they become stupid. I've seen it happen to myself. There must be some chemical released before shopping that unbalances the brain. Hense why we have buyers remorse.
Sorry you have to deal with it though. I hope it's only for today. This is why I work in accounting, I never have to deal with Customers.
Sorry you have to deal with it though. I hope it's only for today. This is why I work in accounting, I never have to deal with Customers.
-
Hashum
- Jedi Correspondent
yeah i agree with hashum, personally I foam at the mouth and hate everything I see when shopping.
-
warsloth
- Surface Marshal
And you're just now figuring out this???
yeah Customers.. Even one's that aren't actually buying something from you (government contracting) are Idiots. Seriously.
I had this chick come up to me and tell me she hasn't been recieving calls on her cellphone for the last few days...
I took her phone, Took it out of "Silent Mode" (which was clearly displayed on the screen of the phone).
As soon as I took it out it was ringin, I handed it to her, and she left...
No thanks no nothin'.. I laughed so hard...
yeah Customers.. Even one's that aren't actually buying something from you (government contracting) are Idiots. Seriously.
I had this chick come up to me and tell me she hasn't been recieving calls on her cellphone for the last few days...
I took her phone, Took it out of "Silent Mode" (which was clearly displayed on the screen of the phone).
As soon as I took it out it was ringin, I handed it to her, and she left...
No thanks no nothin'.. I laughed so hard...
-
Lok'i Vidaar
- SWG Tales Founder
Wow.. Lok'i... I love you. That's the greatest story ever.
Though back on topic, yeah customers suck terribly. I do CS over the summer for my grandfather's company (fabrics) and some of the people don't even realize that they ordered things. Most of the time it's just right to interior decorating places but when a company is ordering something from us directly to decorate something themselves then they are usually all like "Wait what? Who ordered this?" and on my form it just says the company name so I am left sitting there with my thumb up my ass as they run around asking who ordered it.
Don't ask me, I only work here.
Though back on topic, yeah customers suck terribly. I do CS over the summer for my grandfather's company (fabrics) and some of the people don't even realize that they ordered things. Most of the time it's just right to interior decorating places but when a company is ordering something from us directly to decorate something themselves then they are usually all like "Wait what? Who ordered this?" and on my form it just says the company name so I am left sitting there with my thumb up my ass as they run around asking who ordered it.
Don't ask me, I only work here.
-
Curse
- Staff Corporal
- Contact
You can add "liar" to the list of synonyms for "customer". I had no less than 3 customers (yes the HAVE bought things from us in the past) tell me that they still had product left from their order THREE YEARS AGO. Almost believeable if I didn't have the exact sales history in front of me telling me that they ordered 1 case. 1 case won't even finish 1 job. Nice try, chief. If you don't like it or don't want to buy it from us anymore, sack up and say so. Don't be a pussy about it and lie.
I would at least have the decency to tell them I was dissatissfied with the product.
Man, I need to write a book on the "real world" so that delusionally naive, newly graduated folks like myself don't come in with any preconcieved notions about human decency and/or responsibility.
My book will include chapters on what not to do in the case of a minor auto accident and parts about customer relations.
I would at least have the decency to tell them I was dissatissfied with the product.
Man, I need to write a book on the "real world" so that delusionally naive, newly graduated folks like myself don't come in with any preconcieved notions about human decency and/or responsibility.
My book will include chapters on what not to do in the case of a minor auto accident and parts about customer relations.
-
Krusshyk
- SWG Tales Founder
A friend forwarded me an email....
Subject: The biography of H. Gordon Selfridge - Associated Press style
The Phrase "The Customer is Always Right" was coined by H. Gordon Selfridge, 1857-1947, the founder of the Selfridge chain stores.
He eventually went insane and died in poverty in a small flat in Putney England.
Subject: The biography of H. Gordon Selfridge - Associated Press style
The Phrase "The Customer is Always Right" was coined by H. Gordon Selfridge, 1857-1947, the founder of the Selfridge chain stores.
He eventually went insane and died in poverty in a small flat in Putney England.
-
Isleh
- The Kika'Vati Order
I had a costomer who came in and wanted to buy a game. "sir do you sell games here?" I roll my eyes "Yes" "Do you sell good games or bad games?"
"It is all about your prefrence" "Hmm," he pauses for five mins as her has a dumb look on his face of no one is home "What kind of games do I like?" I almost felt like falling down into a featil postition. "Well what kind of games do you like?" I sead a list of types. "Hmm do you have any games that will not melt after playing a few days.
I felt like chocking him.
"I know do you have any play station games?" I pointed to the section that was labeled play station in bold letters. That idiot stayed there for about three hours asking me dumb questions then after the third hour he buys a magazine off the rack so he can see the different games when he just looked at any new game out.
"It is all about your prefrence" "Hmm," he pauses for five mins as her has a dumb look on his face of no one is home "What kind of games do I like?" I almost felt like falling down into a featil postition. "Well what kind of games do you like?" I sead a list of types. "Hmm do you have any games that will not melt after playing a few days.
I felt like chocking him.
"I know do you have any play station games?" I pointed to the section that was labeled play station in bold letters. That idiot stayed there for about three hours asking me dumb questions then after the third hour he buys a magazine off the rack so he can see the different games when he just looked at any new game out.
-
Jaminos
- Mandalorian Mercenary
As a customer service rep at a toy store (you know... that one with the large, long neck mammal), I have lists of great stories. :) Best one recently was a customer stopping me in the video games (when I'm not doing returns and dealing with the fine upstanding members of society, I'm a video game guru) and asked me what the 'M' meant on the GTA:San Andreas. I calmly explain to the woman that it means a mature game, showed her the reasons for the rating on the back (Strong language, sexual content, violence, drug usage), the basic video game equivilent of a really strong rated R movie, told her everything I've heard about it, yadda yadda. Then she decides to get it. I conversationally ask who she's getting it for.
Her seven year old nephew.
I calmly explain once more why the game is rated mature, wanting to tell her that there's enough of the women of the night in it to bring down a small sailing vessel. She says 'well, I've already gotten the other two for him last Christmas.'
She did decide against another 'M' rated game (Siren or Silent Hill 4, I don't remember which...), saying they looked too scarey for him.
....yeaaaaahhh....
Also have the ole 'where is this item?" and they're standing right intfront of it (no joke, I swear). Have had the prank call where people ask for codems repetidly despite the fact that I tell them it's a toy store (and once or twice 'a children's toy store) and then finally slam the phone down.
Some people should not be allowed to breed.
Her seven year old nephew.
I calmly explain once more why the game is rated mature, wanting to tell her that there's enough of the women of the night in it to bring down a small sailing vessel. She says 'well, I've already gotten the other two for him last Christmas.'
She did decide against another 'M' rated game (Siren or Silent Hill 4, I don't remember which...), saying they looked too scarey for him.
....yeaaaaahhh....
Also have the ole 'where is this item?" and they're standing right intfront of it (no joke, I swear). Have had the prank call where people ask for codems repetidly despite the fact that I tell them it's a toy store (and once or twice 'a children's toy store) and then finally slam the phone down.
Some people should not be allowed to breed.
-
Oroho
- Warrant Officer II
- Contact
Computer help desk:
This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say the
help
desk employee was fired; however, the person is currently suing the
WordPerfect
organization for "termination without cause".
This is from the taped conversation leading up to dismissal:
"WordPerfect Technical Desk, may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type!"
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it
have a
little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
cord goes
into it.
"Can you see that?"
"Yes, I can."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into
the
wall."
".......Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there
were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the
other cable."
"....... Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back
of your
computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's
dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in
from the
window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power... A power outage? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
"Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just
like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you
bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too f**king stupid to own a computer."
This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say the
help
desk employee was fired; however, the person is currently suing the
WordPerfect
organization for "termination without cause".
This is from the taped conversation leading up to dismissal:
"WordPerfect Technical Desk, may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type!"
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it
have a
little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
cord goes
into it.
"Can you see that?"
"Yes, I can."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into
the
wall."
".......Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there
were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the
other cable."
"....... Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back
of your
computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's
dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in
from the
window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power... A power outage? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
"Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just
like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you
bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too f**king stupid to own a computer."
-
E-bo Obi
- Grand Moff
- Server
Legends
This would be the "Best Book Ever!!"Del'tar Chagas wrote:My book will include chapters on what not to do in the case of a minor auto accident and parts about customer relations.
LMAO!
-
Lok'i Vidaar
- SWG Tales Founder
speaking of dumb people, you get plenty of them at the airport...
Apparently if I'm walking down the terminal in my pilot uniform, I know what destination is going out of what gate FOR EVERY AIRLINE AND EVERY GATE IN THE ENTIRE OHARE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT, because everyone asks me where their flight is, WHILE WE ARE STANDING NEXT TO THE DOZEN MONITORS DISPLAYING ALL OF THE FLIGHTS....
they also ask me how to get to gate K5 or H10 or whatever, AS WE ARE STANDING UNDER THE SIGNS, that have big letter K'S, H's, etc with BIG FUCKING ARROWS POINTING WHICH WAY TO GO
I also love it when I'm at the gate, pulling up info/paperwork off the computer for the flight, always a gorup of people (thinking they're running late) will run past everyone else sitting at the gate, ignore the screen behind me telling them the time of departure, ignore the gate agent, and come straight to me to asking "did we miss the flight? let us on the plane, are we late? etc etc...and then I calmly state that it hasn't boarded yet, instead of, "well if it backs away from the gate without ME, then we both have a problem."
I also appreciate people thinking, that after I just flew them to their destination, which they saw me do, then ask to have me help them CARRY THEIR BAGS ALL THE WAY TO THEIR CAR BECAUSE THEY TAKE TOO MUCH SHIT....(this has happened twice, I swear)
but here is the best story of all...
This lady on the flight got pissed at us, the pilots. Why might you ask? Were we running late? nope. Were we returning to the gate? nope. We had left the gate on time and departed the airport early...so why was she pissed?
She was pissed we took off. Why? Because her child is scared to fly, and was screaming as if he were being stabbed, for over 20 minutes while boarding, all during takeoff, and for sometime into cruise (we could hear him from the cockpit). SO she was irate that we took off and departed the airport. A lady was mad that we actually TOOK OFF EARLY! not that we were late...that we didn't wait for her and her child to be ready fly. That the other 60+ passengers didn't matter they got to their destination on time, but that her kid wasn't ready.
I'm sorry but if your kids not ready to fly, don't bring him on a 2 HOUR FLIGHT, IN NOT THE GREATEST OF WEATHER...at the very least tell someone about the problem BEFORE the door is closed and we are already airborne...we comfort scared kids all the time, but we can't do shit once the plane is goin...
Apparently if I'm walking down the terminal in my pilot uniform, I know what destination is going out of what gate FOR EVERY AIRLINE AND EVERY GATE IN THE ENTIRE OHARE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT, because everyone asks me where their flight is, WHILE WE ARE STANDING NEXT TO THE DOZEN MONITORS DISPLAYING ALL OF THE FLIGHTS....
they also ask me how to get to gate K5 or H10 or whatever, AS WE ARE STANDING UNDER THE SIGNS, that have big letter K'S, H's, etc with BIG FUCKING ARROWS POINTING WHICH WAY TO GO
I also love it when I'm at the gate, pulling up info/paperwork off the computer for the flight, always a gorup of people (thinking they're running late) will run past everyone else sitting at the gate, ignore the screen behind me telling them the time of departure, ignore the gate agent, and come straight to me to asking "did we miss the flight? let us on the plane, are we late? etc etc...and then I calmly state that it hasn't boarded yet, instead of, "well if it backs away from the gate without ME, then we both have a problem."
I also appreciate people thinking, that after I just flew them to their destination, which they saw me do, then ask to have me help them CARRY THEIR BAGS ALL THE WAY TO THEIR CAR BECAUSE THEY TAKE TOO MUCH SHIT....(this has happened twice, I swear)
but here is the best story of all...
This lady on the flight got pissed at us, the pilots. Why might you ask? Were we running late? nope. Were we returning to the gate? nope. We had left the gate on time and departed the airport early...so why was she pissed?
She was pissed we took off. Why? Because her child is scared to fly, and was screaming as if he were being stabbed, for over 20 minutes while boarding, all during takeoff, and for sometime into cruise (we could hear him from the cockpit). SO she was irate that we took off and departed the airport. A lady was mad that we actually TOOK OFF EARLY! not that we were late...that we didn't wait for her and her child to be ready fly. That the other 60+ passengers didn't matter they got to their destination on time, but that her kid wasn't ready.
I'm sorry but if your kids not ready to fly, don't bring him on a 2 HOUR FLIGHT, IN NOT THE GREATEST OF WEATHER...at the very least tell someone about the problem BEFORE the door is closed and we are already airborne...we comfort scared kids all the time, but we can't do shit once the plane is goin...
-
Skarr
- SWG Tales Founder
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests