Alexander: Worst movie ever

[warsloth]

I have decided that the movie Alexander has officially become my least favorite movie of all time.

I really thought the movie AI sucked the big one, but Alexander is FAR FAR FAR worse. It is more drawn out, more over the top, and Alexander is made out to be gay.

While I can handle a little bit of them portraying someone as gay, it seemed like they tried to make everyone gay. It got to the point that they focused on this more than the fact that he fought a ton of battles (that weren't shown). So they took a character, and a potentially epic war movie, and spent the whole movie pushing it over the top. Also mentioning that Achilles was gay somehow? It was to the point that several people asked if it was gay porn.

The timeline jumping was not only pointless, but no one I watched it with knew what was going on, and when.

There are two battles shown in the movie. One is Alexander versus Darius. This one had me confused. Alexander is trying to pull off a flank maneuver that somehow brings him face to face with Darius. The shifty camera work, and overhead shots were so crazy that you can't tell what happened.

The second battle scene is in some kind of jungle against elephants. They did a really poor job with the editing and cameras. They also show a rediculous slow motion shot of Alexander charging (on horse) at an elephant and they both rare back at the same time. The shot is WAY over the top. And after that it's a maelstrom of retarded BS.

Every five minutes Alexander gives some "powerful" speech. It really get monotonous towards the end. The Climax of the movie is near the beginning when he fights Darius. Truly a terribly written, poorly edited, epic failure. And did I mention everyone is gay? And you see Colin Ferrel's (i dont care how it's spelled) junk, shortly before another girly looking man gets into bed with him.

About halfway into the movie I was hoping for someone to shoot me in the face.

the second battle is symbolic of the second half of the movie, his horse is shot and speared, yet they keep shooting it and stabbing it... thus beating a dead horse.

They very graphically show animals like the horses and elephants being wounded, yet don't show as much violence to the people. For whatever reason I found that somewhat disturbing. I think that's because I am so desensitized to human-human violence. The heterosexual sex was way to graphic as well. The one time they include it in the film, it was about like a soft core showtime flick.

I have written this post as a public service, don't purchase, rent, or watch this movie.

No offense to gays or anything, I don't have a problem watching a movie about a gay person, but even without the gay stuff this movie is the worst thing ever put to film. All who were present for the viewing were in whole hearted agreement on this fact. Since we are of varying beliefs and backgrounds. I was offended more by the hetero scene than all that anyway. Plus there was no warning that I was going to see male junk.

[Zannon]

Uhhh...he was at least part time gay...you know, bath houses, sex with young boys...staples of that era.

But I will agree....it blew.

[Skorixor]

colin farrell in a bad blonde hair dyejob should been your clue it would suck...

maybe it was a wig?

either way it looked awful

[X'an Shin]

Admittedly I haven't seen Alexander, but have any of you folks seen:

BATTLEFIELD EARTH????

You actually have to be like Ed Wood to make a worse movie than that, and even then, you might fail.

[warsloth]

I never payed attention to the previews or anything, but yes the hair was awful. They could have changed the focus of the movie, instead of making him out to be a weak combatant, who always relied on getting saved by others.

He could have been a total bum, the Macedonian/Greeks were the best soldiers of that time. The split empires that follwed Alexander were somewhat mighty too.

[Jabe Adaks]

Uhhh...he was at least part time gay...you know, bath houses, sex with young boys...staples of that era.

But I will agree....it blew.

Man.. and I thought Michael Jackson was pushing the envelope.

Jabe

[X'an Shin]

Uhhh...he was at least part time gay...you know, bath houses, sex with young boys...staples of that era.

But I will agree....it blew.

Man, if that's part-time gay, I would hate to see what full-time gay was. ;)

[Zyre Mercutio]

I just watched Alexander tw days ago as well and while I thought it was pretty bad it was because of any of its implied homoeroticism. It was just poorly edited and a complete waste of otherwise decent actors in most of the roles. I did manage to complete my viewing of it if for no other reason then I knew I was going to see some naked Roasario Dawson, thank you Rosario I appreciate them!

For me the worst film I have seen in a while would have to be a dvd I purchased then could no longer bear it halfway thru. I should preface this by saying I am a lifelong comic book collector, love strong female characters, especially those is tight black leather. But as Joey Styles might say OH.......MY.......GOD!! Catwoman was truly epic in its disasterous translation of the character and made Halle Berry's Ororo a triumph by comparison. So if anyone wants to trade me some RIS armor for a gently used copy of Catwoman on dvd just PM me!


Zzzzzz

((edited))

[Keer]

As a fan of military history I was really anxious years ago when the first news of a movie about Alexander the Great was released. At that time there were at least three different directors and studios angling to be the first to get it started. Oliver Stone, Baz Luhrmann (Moulin Rouge) and Martin Scorcese were the biggest directing names. I was really pulling for Scorcese to get it because I have seen almost all of his films and have never been disappointed. But Stone got it going and while I have liked Stone's work in the past, lately his biggest claim to fame has been repeated cocaine busts while driving like a damn fool.

I didn't go see the movie at the theatre because the Lame Radar went off strong and loud. It's been wrong before but still I skipped it on DVD too. Maybe I'll rent it out just to see how bad it is. I'm still hesitant because it'll probably burn what little regard that I have left for Oliver Stone.

Stone, put down the coca and start making good movies again, please.

[Sepiv]

And put down the gay porn. hahaha!

[E-bo Obi]

Oh. Thanks for letting me know stone made it. I have never liked any of his films. That was all anyone needed to tell me.

[Isleh]

Oliver Stoned?

/rimshot

[warsloth]

X'an: battlefield earth= bad
Alexander = ass pounding terrible.

Battlefield Earth is at least entertaining. I got a few laughs out of it. Alexander made me cringe, and contemplate suicide.

Another bad movie: Proof of life. I saw a tank in the previews, Meg Ryan, Russell Crowe, and some other dude. Me and a couple friends went to see it.

Once the movie started we realized we were the only ones there. About half an hour into the movie we started exploring the theater. Behind the curtains I discovered boxes of junk, that we proceeded to assemble various things from. The movie was so bad, not even MST3K could make it better.

we know because we assembled robots, and there was nothing going on to joke about.

I have yet to walk out of a movie yet though.

[Keer]

I have yet to walk out of a movie yet though.

Mission: Impossible 2. First and only time I've ever walked out on a movie. Towards the end when he started with the motorcycle stunts, I'd just had enough. There have surely been worse movies, but I've seen most of those at home where I could just turn them off.

John Woo and his doves...it was cool way back when, but the mega-action-for-action's-sake style I didn't really dig for that movie. Alot of other people liked it though.

[E-bo Obi]

I have found its always good to have a date for a movie. If all else fails at least you can enjoy each others company. The movie French Kiss or some paris movie was it? I don't remember anything after about ten minutes into this horrific flick. I know I spent the rest of the film forgetting I was in a movie theatre.