Wisconsin Dells' Statistics
PostedThu Aug 05, 2004 2:14 am
11 - Number of people, both men & women, wearing wifebeater shirts at Walmart on a Sunday night when you run in for camera batteries.
5 - Most number of f-bombs your wife will use in a single sentence when describing Wisconsin Dells' drivers. Also, the number of separate occasions your wife exclaims, "Jesus Christ!" after inadvertently going to an area of the hotel room that you thought would be a safe place to let loose some wild gas.
17 and 1 - The cost per person to eat at Black Bart's Old West Buffet and the number of times you will go to Black Bart's Buffet in your lifetime.
3 - The number of items on Black Bart's Buffet....there was a bin of rib bones--not sure who those were for...maybe dog's eat free? Also, the number of times you have to wash your hands to get the smell of Black Bart's chicken off your fingers (...hey, maybe that's what caused the second 5 incident). The number of times in a three-night trip that you have to go out driving at 8:30 at night to get your 2-year old to go to sleep.
1 - The number of worthwhile things to do indoors in Wisconsin Dells to entertain a 2-year old when it's raining (other than the indoor waterpark at your resort)...although we never found it, there must be one. Also, the number of men who just emerged from the hotel pool, yet still reek of b.o.
556 - Number of T-shirt shops in the Wisconsin Dells.
6 - The number of Tommy Bartlett attractions in the Dells.
2 - The number of types of fish at the Silver Springs Aquarium (trout, golden trout). Also, the number of different types of animals at the Silver Springs Aquarium (trout, turtles). The number of pot-bellied piglets befriended by Zannon at Storybook Gardens.
20 and 4 - The number of minutes an adult and a 2-year old, respectively, will be entertained at the Silver Springs Aquarium.
1,540,356 - The number of dead, stuffed and mounted wild animals used as decoration in Wisconsin Dells.
13 - Most consecutive ass-cracks viewed at the hotel pool in one afternoon.
50 - Number of consecutive times a 2-year old can go down a waterslide before it's time to do something else.
120 - The decibel level that your 2-year old can shout "COW!" in a restaurant after seeing a tiny portion of cowskin hanging on the wall.
7 - The number of whole watermelons you watched a family bring in to their hotel room the day you were checking out.
4 - Number of days you could have spent at Disney World for the same price you spent for 3 days in Wisconsin Dells. Also, the number of seconds it takes to get completely soaked by a rainstorm, running 10 feet to get the car (6 seconds to get back into the hotel after being momentarily stunned by a blow to the head from a golf-ball sized chunk of hail).
0 - The number of attractions in the Wisconsin Dells that are as cool as you remember them from when you were a kid.
5 - Most number of f-bombs your wife will use in a single sentence when describing Wisconsin Dells' drivers. Also, the number of separate occasions your wife exclaims, "Jesus Christ!" after inadvertently going to an area of the hotel room that you thought would be a safe place to let loose some wild gas.
17 and 1 - The cost per person to eat at Black Bart's Old West Buffet and the number of times you will go to Black Bart's Buffet in your lifetime.
3 - The number of items on Black Bart's Buffet....there was a bin of rib bones--not sure who those were for...maybe dog's eat free? Also, the number of times you have to wash your hands to get the smell of Black Bart's chicken off your fingers (...hey, maybe that's what caused the second 5 incident). The number of times in a three-night trip that you have to go out driving at 8:30 at night to get your 2-year old to go to sleep.
1 - The number of worthwhile things to do indoors in Wisconsin Dells to entertain a 2-year old when it's raining (other than the indoor waterpark at your resort)...although we never found it, there must be one. Also, the number of men who just emerged from the hotel pool, yet still reek of b.o.
556 - Number of T-shirt shops in the Wisconsin Dells.
6 - The number of Tommy Bartlett attractions in the Dells.
2 - The number of types of fish at the Silver Springs Aquarium (trout, golden trout). Also, the number of different types of animals at the Silver Springs Aquarium (trout, turtles). The number of pot-bellied piglets befriended by Zannon at Storybook Gardens.
20 and 4 - The number of minutes an adult and a 2-year old, respectively, will be entertained at the Silver Springs Aquarium.
1,540,356 - The number of dead, stuffed and mounted wild animals used as decoration in Wisconsin Dells.
13 - Most consecutive ass-cracks viewed at the hotel pool in one afternoon.
50 - Number of consecutive times a 2-year old can go down a waterslide before it's time to do something else.
120 - The decibel level that your 2-year old can shout "COW!" in a restaurant after seeing a tiny portion of cowskin hanging on the wall.
7 - The number of whole watermelons you watched a family bring in to their hotel room the day you were checking out.
4 - Number of days you could have spent at Disney World for the same price you spent for 3 days in Wisconsin Dells. Also, the number of seconds it takes to get completely soaked by a rainstorm, running 10 feet to get the car (6 seconds to get back into the hotel after being momentarily stunned by a blow to the head from a golf-ball sized chunk of hail).
0 - The number of attractions in the Wisconsin Dells that are as cool as you remember them from when you were a kid.
